60 Sec Fiction: TRUST

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I’m eighty today, and I’m getting married for the fifth time.

I know. I’m no expert in relationships, but I’m a trier, always have been.

One thing I’ve learned through four marriages is that good communication makes for honest relationships. And I was better at that in my last one than I was in my first. But what underpins any lasting union is trust in the other. This was my downfall, and God knows how hard I’ve tried.

What I discovered recently is that trust isn’t actually a thing. I looked for it, but couldn’t find it. It’s not a feeling in my body, or even a thought in my head.

Anger, love, pain. These are things I can locate in my body. The knot of anger in the pit of my stomach, the warm sensation of love in my chest, the pain in my arm. But trust?

Here’s the thing: trust is another way to say, “absence of fear”, is it not?

The fear a loved one is not telling the truth. The fear a partner will leave you for someone else. The fear they will tire of your imperfections, and stop loving you. What’s left in the absence of fear?

So I’m about to embark on my fifth journey, and this time, I won’t look for trust. Instead, I will track down my fears. Face them. Question them.

And as fear dissolves, trust reappears.

Like the sun breaking through a rift in the clouds, it was always there, just obscured.

♦

Thank you for reading ☀️

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