60 Sec Fiction: NORMAL

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Ben loved the word “normal”.

And he hated it.

As a kid, he desperately wanted to fit in – to be “normal” – but his thick glasses and knobbly knees always got in the way. Not to mention the school bullies.

At university, Ben met Lila. He loved her, and she loved him for being different to other men. All seemed to be going well. They got married, but a couple of years later, Lila realised she wanted a life more ordinary after all. Their divorce broke his heart.

By the age of forty, Ben ran a successful marketing company. He’d made it in the world, money and all, but he wasn’t happy. In fact, most of his life had been a poor compromise between fitting in, and being himself. This issue came up again in the last session with his therapist.

‘It hurts not being myself,’ he told her.

‘It would,’ she said. ‘This is nature’s way of inviting more authenticity into your life.’

He paused for a moment to let her words sink in.

‘But not fitting in hurts too,’ he added, with a frown.

‘It would,’ his therapist said, with a calm authority. ‘Evolution taught us there’s greater safety in numbers, and loneliness is nature’s way of encouraging you back in with the herd, so to speak.’

After his session, Ben felt even more frustrated. This often happened; his therapist offered pointers, but never answers. ‘It’ll come to you in time,’ she always said.

That night, he lay awake in bed going over his day. It hurt not to be himself. It hurt not to fit in. What was he supposed to do when being himself usually meant not fitting in?

He wrestled with this question until the early hours, to no avail, and exhaustion eventually took over. As his body sank into the mattress, however, a new image entered his mind.

He saw an old man on his deathbed, tears pooling under the eyes. He could hear his thoughts. They were filled with regret, and when Ben fell asleep, the old man’s words crystallised in his mind. ‘I wish I’d had the courage to live a life truer to myself, not a life seeking approval.’

The following week, Ben shared the experience with his therapist; the sleepless night, the vision, the realisation. He felt inspired, and knew what he wanted. She listened, and didn’t interrupt. Once finished, he looked at her expectantly, but she said nothing.

‘What do you think?’ he ventured.

‘Would it matter if I said I didn’t approve?’ she replied, her eyes fixed on him.

‘It would. . .’ he said, then paused, smiling, as she rolled her eyes.

♦

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